Goodbye Aprons and Curls

Emily July 31, 2010
[27] comments

Day #50

“She (the housewife) should greet the day with expectation, a hidden excitement (for some of us who have just fallen asleep at 5 a.m. after a night up with a baby, it may be very hidden).”

Holy Housewifery, 1967

Jeans at last, jeans at last! The 1950′s Project is complete, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. Our adoption is about a month away, and it’s time to shift my focus from meringue to Mommy books, from blueberry pie to baby blue bumpers, and from homemade biscuits to homemade baby food.

I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone for the encouragement you have given me through this project. You have made this summer so memorable for me! Many of YOUR stories about the fifties, about your grandparents, and about your cooking experiences have enriched my life, and I will never be able to explain what they have meant to me. Thank you for checking out the blog and sharing your memories.

Clay and I are making a huge shift in our lives right now, and I would love each one of you to come on this next journey with us. We are adopting a boy from Haiti, and we are coming to the realization that he could be here any day now.

Sometimes we just look at eachother and say, “We are going to be parents soon.”

It’s surreal.

We have always said, “Go see Daddy,” or “Listen to Mommy,” when we are talking to our dog, but somehow, this is a little different. If there is one phrase we have heard more than anything other it’s, “Nothing changes your life like a baby!” Sometimes, people say that with a smile on their face. Other times they say it with a smirk.

So, the next fifty posts will not be about stylish aprons. Instead, I am trying what a reader suggested (thank you, Stephanie). I am going to write what I plan to do as a Mom, and then when the baby comes, we’ll see if I actually follow the plan. This includes but is not limited to my…

- Sleep Plan
- Feeding Plan
- Marriage Plan
- Work Plan
- Housekeeping Plan
- Exercise Plan

I am sure some of the Mommies are laughing at me already! That’s okay. As long as you promise to be honest with me about the struggles and triumphs of mommyhood, I promise to be honest about my ignorance and discoveries.

Yesterday, I made my first decision about transitioning from one project to the next: my hair has GOT to be simpler. My long hair and curls took about 25 minutes to fix. So, my dear friend, Joy, cut it (and more importantly, thinned it a bit).

Goodbye curls.

Hello, sensible Mom hair. Now, I just need a cute diaper bag and I should be set!

Posted in 1950's Attitutude, 1950's Wife Project | Tagged , , | 27 Comments

Angelina Syndrome

Emily July 15, 2010
[65] comments

Day #37 – July 14, 2010

“There’s been a recent flurry of concern over the Trapped Housewife, that poor housebound creature bowed down by the weight of other people’s pity.”

Holy Housewifery, 1964

My friend, Kellye, called today while I was cooking and she asked, “So, do you just cook all day everyday?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” I answered. (Today, I made bread, granola, cookies, lasagna, salad dressing, and punch.)

“And, what do you think about that?”

I could hear the curiosity in her voice. It was the same curiosity I had before this project began. In fact, I expected that by this day, I would have the following feelings:

- Hatred for my oven.
- Resentment toward Clay.
- Sadness about staying inside all summer.
- Rebellion against all stereotypes about women in the kitchen.

Shockingly, I don’t feel that way at all. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed all the cooking (not all the cleaning) I have done over the past five weeks. When Kellye asked me that question today, I started wondering why I used to dread cooking so much. Why did I hate it before and yet, I love it now?

The simple answer is: BEFORE, I had NO TIME to cook!!

The more complicated answer is… BEFORE, I thought I had to be Angelina Jolie to be successful… an award-winning model / actress, U.N. Representative, wife to People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, and mother to three biological children as well as three internationally adopted children. How could I take time to enjoy the simple pleasure of baking a cake when I have to be an international superstar / humanitarian / mommy of six by the age of thirty? I have so much to do! 

This is our standard today. In the 1950′s, women wanted to bake a beautiful cake and serve it on a mahogany dining room set. Today, we think we have to be Angelina.

Is is possible that the Angelina Syndrome keeps us from enjoying simple pleasures like cooking a delicious meal or enjoying some quiet time at home? Is it possible that I don’t always relish time to cook because a lovely meal is only one of twenty goals I absolutely must accomplish in order to keep up with my fantasy of the perfect woman?

When I think about the life my grandmothers describe in the 1950′s, I realize that they made cooking and homemaking their ultimate goal.  They were able to do that because they didn’t put pressure on themselves to make a gourmet meal every night, after they leave work as the President of a multinational company, before working on their best-selling novel at night, and while keeping in touch with every person they have ever known from grade school on Facebook. They gave themselves permission to cook, permission to take care of their families, and permission to be a great homemaker.

For the next two weeks, I have the simple luxury of unhurried time in the kitchen.

After these fifty days are over, I don’t think I will have this luxury again. I will go back to work, adopt a baby, continue to pursue my writing goals, and probably talk on my cellphone a lot more.  That will be fun too, but for now, I will just enjoy the peaceful serenity of my little kitchen.

 Angelina has a great life, but so do I.

Do you think our unrealistic expectations today keep us from enjoying the little things?

Posted in 1950's Attitutude, 1950's Wife Project | Tagged , , , , , | 65 Comments

Holy Housewifery

Emily June 13, 2010
[6] comments

Day #7 – June 13, 2010

A prayer taken from the book, Holy Housewifery, published in 1964:

Lord, keep me from getting talkative,
and particularly from the fatal habit
of thinking I must say something on every subject
and on every occasion.

Release me from the craving to
staighten out everybody’s affairs.

Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details;
give me wings to get to the point.
Seal my lips when inclined to tell
of my aches and pains;
they are increasing with the years
and my love of rehearsing them grows
sweeter as the years go by.

Teach me the glorious lesson
that occasionally it is possible
that I may be mistaken.

Keep me reasonably sweet,
for a sour woman is one of
the crowning works of the devil.

One of my favorite parts about the 1950′s Wife Project is reading literature from this era. I started with a home economics book published in 1956, but then my family members gave me some of their favorite cookbooks. Mima Sara gave me her first cookbook, published by Better Homes and Gardens in 1949. My Aunt Claire is letting me borrow The Joy of Cooking, published in 1943, and a friend was gracious enough to bring me Holy Housewifery.

I generally have mixed feelings when I read these books.

For example, when I read this prayer, my first reaction is SHOCK. “Oh my goodness! Did she really ask God to keep her from getting talkative?”

My next reaction is THANKFULNESS. “Lord, thank you that I live in 2010.”

Of course, I can’t help by LAUGH. I have laughed with more than one friend about the line, ‘Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally it is possible that I may be mistaken.’”

But eventually, I get to the feeling of APPRECIATION for the wisdom pouring from these words. Sure, they are politically incorrect by today’s standards, but they are also expressing a different kind of understanding about life, one that is not afraid to be honest about shortcomings, tendencies, and struggles of everyday women.

Haven’t we all been talkative? I know I have gotten in the car with Clay after an evening out with friends and thought, “Why did I run my mouth all night?”

I am certainly guilty of the crime mentioned in lines five and six, the crime of trying to straighten out everyone’s affairs.

And I have found myself complaining about little aches and pains, instead of embracing an attitude of grattitude for the abundant blessings in my life.

Certainly, is possible that as the years go by, my sweetness has deteriorated. If I don’t pray about it, like the writer of this prayer, I could easily describe myself as “a sour woman.”

The truth is, although these books use verbiage that seems strange in 2010, it still speaks to my heart as a woman. I have been encouraged by it today. And what better way to understand the ideals of women in the ’50′s than to read their prayers?

Posted in 1950's Attitutude, 1950's Wife Project | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments